Where Did My Childhood Go?

Where did my childhood go? The one from long ago. She lipped away before I was born. The world I came into had already been torn, ripped apart with festering wounds of the past.

Where did my childhood go? The one from long ago. Along with her simplicity. She was sweet, full of life, and faultless. Her innocence was stolen before she could claim herself.

Where did my childhood go? The one from long ago. Along with her carefree days. They were gone too soon. She cannot recall days of happiness. They are blurred, only memories of pain and sorrow remain.

Where did my childhood go? The one from long ago. She is hidden deep. Like a ghost within, she is barred, trapped, and unable to leave. She screams wanting to be set free.

Where did my childhood go? The one from long ago. She surfaces occasionally, bringing with her a sadness that is raw; ethereal. I hear her, weeping over her crushed spirit, over the scars embedded on her broken heart.

Where did my childhood go. The one from long ago. She slipped away before she was born. I wish to hold her hand, cradle her in my arms, and wipe her falling tears. I miss her, though I don’t remember her. I miss her and long for her presence. If you see her, tell her I miss her and love her.

Where did my childhood go? The one from long ago.

Inanna Roxanna Arnett

Copyright October 14, 2017.

Photograph belongs to me. Photograph taken on the corner of University Drive and Mill Ave in Tempe, Arizona.

Inanna Roxanna Photography.

Make Yourself A Priority.

Wake up by 4 am. Brew coffee. Brush teeth and hair. Wipe and moisturize face. Meditate. Do the Suryanamaskar. Drink Coffee and drink some water. Send a loving text to Anugrah. Work on writing notes from last weeks classes. Learn about my Nikon DSLR camera. This was my mornings agenda. Until recently, keeping an agenda was non-existent. Taking care of myself and making myself a priority, was also non-existent. I would get up at random times, and just head out the door without brushing my hair, teeth, and sometimes without eating breakfast. Therefore, for the past 15 days, I’ve been making it a point to write an agenda and sticking to what that agenda says. I’ve been making it a point to get up early in the mornings. Waking up in the mornings, allows me enough time to do the things I normally wouldn’t. Today, I woke up at 6:30 am, this was due to staying up too late watching “The Handmaid’s Tale.” Scary T.V. show let me tell you. However, most days I wake up by 5 am. I’ve been trying to push it to 4 am. However, 4 am is a work in progress to say the least. Now, how¬†many of you have a hard time making yourself a priority? I would say the majority of humanity has a very difficult time with making themselves a priority. If you are like me, I was raised in a household that was dysfunctional and neglectful. Now granted, I had all of my basic necessities provided, such as food, water, shelter, and I was able to get an education. For that, I am grateful and thankful. However, I wasn’t taught to truly take care of myself. I would say, you weren’t either. We live in a world where we are taught to neglect ourselves. We are taught that taking care of others is more important, and the kind thing to do. That taking care of others is self-sacrificing, and noble. And we are taught that taking care of ourselves is selfish. Therefore, we put ourselves on the back burner, forgetting to turn the stove off until we burn out completely. With that said, the purpose for this mornings blog, is to encourage people like you to MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY. Brush your hair, brush your teeth, and eat breakfast before walking out the door and taking on the day. Get up in the mornings if you need to. Or set a time that you’d prefer getting up. MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY. You are just as important as the people you run around taking care of, and you deserve the same attention you give to others. You matter to the universe, because you are the universe. MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY. If you don’t MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY, trust me someone else will make themselves a priority in your life. I’ve experienced this first hand, from the time I was born, to the day I terminated a toxic relationship 5 months ago. Make a list of the things you want to accomplish for the day, and stick to that list. Now, we cannot control everything. In fact, most things are out of our control. Therefore, you can make room for unexpected adjustments. If you noticed, before making Anugrah, my fiance a priority, I’m first on the list of priorities. For it is only when you make yourself a priority, that you can make others a priority. Therefore, MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY, because you are a wonderful person, and you are a beautiful person, you are a masterpiece, and the universe loves you exactly as you are. Don’t you think it’s time to show yourself the same love? You have the universes permission to do so.

“The desire to change needs to be stronger than the desire to stay the same.” -Unknown

Love Always,

Inanna Roxanna Arnett

Om.

Copyright October 9, 2017

Photograph belongs to Inanna Roxanna. Taken with iPhone 6 S, on ASU campus.